Backpage Friend break ups

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Friend break ups are the worst.

I had to break things off with my writing partner slash coworker slash new friend about a month ago, and it was not pretty. We had barely started our book, a guide for women on how to thrive in the workplace, when I nipped it in the bud. I had that “Uhh oohh, abort abort!” moment pretty quickly on too. Definitely not meant to be.

First of all, I realized that I’m no expert on succeeding in the workplace. Don’t look at me, I’m the last person you should be asking. I still can’t figure out how to make work work for me, if you really want to know the truth. How do backpage people do it day in and day out? I can’t seem to muster up the enthusiasm personally. Plus, I know even less about The Man than I do about backpage men, so why be a poser and fake the funk?

Secondly, I see writing as more of a solo sport, like swimming. I understand that some creative ventures take two to tango, like Flight of the Conchords (which I’m very thankful for by the way, since what would a workday be like without a daily rendition of ‘Business Time‘?), but writing isn’t one of them in my book. When it comes to writing, I’m just not the commitment type. I’m a solitary rolling stone writer who gathers no moss because she never has writing partners or the drama that accompanies them to create the moss. That’s me. I know thyself.

So I should have known better than to get wrapped up in this whole backpage partnership thing, even if it did start out innocently enough. But it just happened. Came about when I least expected it. We were working together, started joking around one day about backpage women in the workfarce, and next thing I knew, I had committed to writing a book on the subject and to “one day being on Oprah!”

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I must admit, I was all riled up too at first, since my now ex-writing partner has a strong connection to a top literary agent. I was having visions of my life as a famous writer effortlessly popping out one book a year and having free time for days floating around in my head. I would have so much free time that even my free time would have free time. It would be great.

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But I came back to reality soon enough, and started planning my whole ‘this isn’t working out writing backpage partner it’s not you it’s me’ speech. Which actually turned out really well, even though I didn’t end up using any of it and instead decided to blurt out the second I saw her “I just can’t do this anymore! I’m sorry, I really thought I could at the beginning, but I can’t. I just can’t. Things change, you know? People change.”

She tried to convince me that this was a partnership worth fighting for since we work so well together, but I was strong and stuck to my guns. That is, of course, until she started crying. As soon as the tears came out, I lost my will entirely and basically retracted everything I had previously said. Anything to stop the uncomfortableness. I was giving weird pats on the back and saying things like, “No, I didn’t mean it like that! Maybe this can work out. Don’t cry. Of course we’re still partners! I was just kidding. Everything’s fine!”

And for some odd reason, this story has captured the fascination of all my backpage friends, even more so it seems than a real break up story involving an actual man would have. Maybe because it’s too close for comfort, and they know that a friend break up could happen to us one day too? I don’t know. What I do know however is that everybody absolutely has to know how she’s taking it.

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Of course, I’m happy to oblige. “I told her over and over again that I was really busy at work and just don’t have the time right now, but she wouldn’t listen! You know how writing partners are. They’re hard-wired to be like that.” I tell them how she came to pick up her books from my house the next day and how we small talked, but it just wasn’t the same. Then we move on to discussions about how I need to get out there and start writing again, as unnatural as it may feel.

So if you’re like me and are not feeling this post as much as others, just remember that I’m still dealing with a break up, albeit a friend one. I’m forcing myself to write, as I’ve been told the best way to get over a book that didn’t work out is with a new one. And even when you’re the break upper and not the break uppee, it’s still tough. It might take a while before I’m back to my old self again.

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